Climax and Conclusions: Hidden Meanings

To the lucky few who find this,

I hope you found my play interesting if not insightful. I thought that to increase your experience with the script I would share some thoughts and foresight into the story, to better help you understand where I was going with these god-arc-types. There are a lot of talk backs to greek mythology, but I wanted the major fuel of the emotions to come from our social understandings and the epiphany of a real world setting. The most potent examples are in the following:

The Individual Climax's

Once the basic story was created the climaxes became obvious where each emotion would gain the most understanding and would go through the state of change that would lead to the tragic conclusion. The different climaxes were meant to ask questions about what reasons are moral or unsettling. I will do my best to explain my odd thought processes that I think led to a detailed story: 

Aphrodite: Going to see Diana

Essentially Aphrodite, our own driving force of love is all about the love that we devote ourselves towards. That being said, she would understand heartbreak and finding true love, mush better than the others. Everyone else is elusive about their intentions with Diana. Athena fails to admit a sense of attraction, Hephaestus as always denise his needs and Ares only considers Diana a weapon of sorts. In contras the Love Goddess sees the situation far clearer than the others and is the most honest in her response. The idea is that instead of finding a new love interest to fuel a different desire, the spirit of Love wants only to love. It is that distinction that leads to the demise, being blinded by love never being able to understand where it leads. Also Love suggests that people act on intuition, which I think is the most honest response to who we choose to be with.

Athena: The man with the bible

Athena was meant to be the higher academic and personal contemplation within every person. The little part of ourselves that doesn't necessarily want to win, but wants to improve. The obvious choice was to confront the character with the homeless man who holds onto a bible, and show different ways people interact with something lesser than themselves. Most people would act and think as the other three act, they would worry about him or reject him or never take him seriously. Athena's reaction is from what I have observed, the reaction that most people say but don't feel; Athena respected and learned from the man with the bible. Athena becomes that little part of our mind that looks for the small clues, that tries to explain what it all means, and for Athena here, we find a desperate attempt to improve. Is that more heroic than giving to give someone food? Maybe not, but I think that it is the reaction that we are all looking for, and Athena finds it and it leads to the promise of a better life. This leads to the end of the story, where Athena tests herself and finds a better world than the one before. I think thats what we're all looking for in different ways.

Ares: The Mugging

This was what interested me into exploring this story. If your going to stop a mugging not to save someone but to challenge yourself, is it still heroic? In terms of urban heroism, there is no more potent example of stopping petty crime that happens right in front of you, and it scares us that the only thing that can stop it, is intervention. I immediately knew that Hephaestus the crippled altruist would see both sides and try to save everyone, Athena would enter on ethical reasons and her own questions, and Aphrodite's would think of the people who suffer, not being able to look at hate but only trying to think of love. But the god of war? It scared me to admit, but only he could see the truth behind the situation. It is the to be or not to be, the ultimate get busy or get going challenge that no one wants to admit is that simple. Ares looked at the situation and knew that it was only him there, and only his choice. What we discover is that choice was more self loathing than heroic and more fearful than insightful. This act leads directly to Ares Death and as in greek mythology antagonizing pain. Ares lives in all of us, we hate to admit that we like being smug and reckless, but its always there, and its control could get us killed.

Hephaestus: The End

Hephaestus is the crippled altruist. The greek mockery of selflessness that not until the Superman of Seagel and Shuster would he become appealing to look upon. Hephaestus is ugly, he defends everyone and is so great at being good that only he can create gifts for the gods. It is these reason that throughout the story Hephaestus does nothing but aid others, always pays close attention to detail others miss and only comes to understand what his desire for good gave birth to. Through the end Hephaestus just realizes that he has done nothing but try to help others, and when he no longer has the capacity to do that, he is lost. He is the ideal we have taken upon ourselves that we know is impossible, and eventually dies within most so that the satisfaction of having is had. Of all of them at the end, you pity Hephaestus the most, but from his last will and testimate probably find him the most pathetic. Had only he not been destroyed.

The Final Vision

The other thing that I wanted to specify was what all four of these embodiments would see at the last moment of their life. Its the one thing that we really want to see, even if its disappointing. Here they are: 

Athena: Golden Hair

We can either see the best of ourselves or the worst of ourselves. For Athena, the best would be to have found the world and be given the thing that she states is the most important thing in the world. The beautiful nameless golden haired girlfriend. On the same note, Athena of greek myth was notorious for challenging and debating the greatest thinkers of old. In my story the girlfriend challenges Athena and at the end realizes that Athena has lost the great debate. Would the last thing you'd want to see the person who told you that you were wrong?

Love: The Smile

The Smile is the most open reference of the four. It could be the girlfriend, it could be Diana, it could even by the mugger as he watches her life ending, and could of coarse be an amalgamation of all of the love that the characters life experienced. It is meant to be that slight eluded feeling of never settling on a one true love. No one is afraid of death, everyone is afraid of dying alone and we can either see Love dying not seeing a face or having one last smile to go with her. 

Ares: Four Dollars

The four dollars eludes to the money given to the homeless man. The connection probably ended the straingest of the four, but I really felt that it made perfect sense. What does a war hero, a murderer or someone overcome with hate feel at the end? I wanted Ares to see something ironic, essentially seeing something that he thought gave him such power over somebody else, realizing how fake that power was, as I imagine more than one world leader felt at the end. At the same time, I wanted to show Ares the one good thing that he did in his life (as the story goes), and I think that it makes us rethink who Ares is with his incapability of accepting the image before him. Ultimately no one is without that one moment of unyeilding good, and though he doesn't understand it, Ares has it just like the rest of us. At the same time, he might not and simply be brought lower by seeing something so insignificant thing. It really depends on your definitions of good and evil.  

Hephaestus: Himself

If a person never spends time taking what he or she needs and wants, would there be anything to see? Hephaestus looses everything by finding that he has nothing and could see himself as seeing nothing but his own image. At the same time, he is the only one who can look at himself at the end. It all depends if you believe that we have a destiny to do good in the world. If you do you'll see yourself at the end, and if you don't you'll see yourself at the end, whatever you chose to be.

The Play in Full

So initially I believed that I would have longer to present, therefore I made the project into one long narrative switching who you hear. Due to the fact that there was only 10 minutes for me, I had it be a walking instillation, where the participants would be able to walk around and gets clips from the speakers. I would have rather had longer time and done a full play both because as a creator of art I want people to be totally comfortable and also the story, in my opinion, has more power when you hear every point of view in conjunction with one another. Here is the play in whole, and it is totally up to you which one reaches you more:

 Opening Prayer:

         You are looking at a prayer. You are looking at the remaining hope that the gods of old left on your world. These gods were metaphysical beings, imperfect beings that ruled over the world and controlled every man and woman’s action. Among the gods were four brothers and sisters. There was the god of intellect and arts; she came to the world challenging it to become greater. There was the god of the smiths, continuously giving gifts to the gods to improve mankind, always giving more than he had. There was the god of love, who came from nowhere and was beyond understanding. And there was the god of war, a vein being that stormed the world creating havoc and oblivion until he fled having mortal wounds.

 

         They say that the old gods died and they exist in the sky at night. They are wrong. The gods live. The gods live within each action and choice you make. They tell you why you live. They tell you why and what you choose. They live in you. Hear their voices and hear how they continue to tell humanity what it can be. Do not pray to them but instead listen to their prayers. Listen to how they teach you to be better, how they embrace you to live out through what they once believed. This prayer tells a story, a story seen through the eyes of these gods that live in your actions. Ask yourself as you see this story which god lives in you. Which god do you believe in?

THIS IS NOW

Hephaestus

It’s not very cold outside. I see the wool coat and I see the sweatshirt I brought from high school. I remember it because there was a vote on the color. At first everyone wanted it to be black, I mean black is strong, it goes with mostly anything and it, I don’t know how to say it. I think it just makes you feel a little bit taller, if that makes sense. Anyways a few people didn’t want black, they wanted green. More like dark green, if you know what an avocado looks like, I guess it’d be around that shade of green. I don’t know why, I think they must have just had too many black things in their closets already and they wanted something sort of new; maybe exciting. They tried to get a bunch of signatures and I didn’t care. I mean it’s a high school sweatshirt, but the people who wanted to change it were just so determined. They really felt that it was important, so I figured signing the sheet was just a stupid way I could help them out. I mean it wasn’t just my sweatshirt. So yeah, tonight I think I’ll take that sweatshirt.

 

Athena

 

I take my high school jacket instead of the coat intended for a grown man. Even as I leave the building and head downstairs I appreciate that I’m wearing a coat intended for a kid. I’m a student, I’m not important, but after tonight I feel like a kid.

 

Ares

 

I grab the jacket, zip up and leave her alone. She wanted to argue with me. She wanted to tell me something that I had no interest in hearing so I left her standing in our apartment.

 

Aphrodite

 

I look terrible in this coat. Its green, its to small on me and it makes me look like a child. But it’s worth it to get out of this apartment. This apartment is being leased to my girlfriend and me. A word about my girlfriend. If you think that walking down the street or on the subway you see the most beautiful girl in the world, you haven’t. My girlfriend beats her in every possible way. Its not just yellow hair, its yellow hair that is able to capture the sun in each strand. Her body is the kind of body that every teenage boy dreams of holding, slender and smooth, but strong enough so that when you hold her you still feel her holding you. She came out of nowhere and became my life. No matter who or what I thought I was in love with before, it stopped mattering once I saw her. I was blinded by her light. My life stopped and I couldn’t wait soon enough to ask her to live with me. But after tonight, after the yelling, the challenging, I see what she really can be. She can be plain ugly.

 

Ares

 

Our Place has two bedrooms, but not enough space for both of our interest, both of our lives. And its not like I didn’t give her any space, but she kept pushing for more. She made this a fight and I took her on. I mean I give her so much that I shouldn’t. I give her presents and cook for her, and I give her time that should be mine.

 

Athena

 

I feel exposed and naked. I tell myself its because I couldn’t convince her to see my point of view. I tell myself that its because I wasn’t strong enough or smart enough to make her see the truth. I tell myself this because I can’t accept that she’s right.

 

Hephaestus

 

It was just a disagreement, that’s all it was. I mean I do everything I can to give her what she wants; I mean making her happy is something I enjoy. Like when she smiles, I can’t even think about how beautiful her smile is. And when she jumps up and down, every strain of her hair just jumps up a bit. Like a million little rays of gold. Not just in one motion, its pure chaos, it’s beautiful chaos.

 

Athena

 

No matter how hard I try I can’t remember what happened to start the argument. I guess that she was feeling this way for a long time and decided to let her feelings run loose. She said that I separated myself from the world. She said that I’m always shielding myself behind other people, and that I never confront my own problems.

 

Love

 

She argued that I wasn’t one with the world. How could she even say that? She is my world. Of coarse I don’t go around trying to make other people the happiest person in the world, I only want her.

 

Ares

 

But when she tells me that I’m not apart of the world, when she tells me that I on some level don’t exist in the world, she shouldn’t expect me to stay silent. She knows that she crossed a line and went after space that wasn’t hers. Who I am is no ones business but mine.

 

Hephaestus

 

But there was nothing I could really do this time. She didn’t want me to do anything; she just wanted me to open up a little bit more. Wanted me to speak my mind. But the only thing on my mind were those millions of little hair strands bouncing like the sun had fallen on the sky, and how I could make her happy enough to smile.

 

Athena

 

I mean she doesn’t even appreciate the irony of her words. I mean, being open to the world? The world is many things, but its never open. The world is exclusive and a place for vanity, for mediocrity to outweigh the extraordinary. I do what I can in the world, and I try as hard as I can to make my own quiet voice heard. But I wont be apart of the world the way she sees it. I wont lower myself to being apart of the overwhelming masses, who do nothing but live without living.

 

Love

 

She tries to be whatever other people want her to be. But she is just so much better. It hurts whenever I see her when she isn’t herself. But she cares too much. She wants people to see her, even when that someone isn’t me. I wont lie to her, because she’s already lying to herself. I can’t be around her when she’s like that.

 

Ares

 

My friends think I’m fine with the world. I think I’m fine with the world. Quite frankly she was picking a fight that I was meant to win. A fight that I was entitled to win. But she wouldn’t stop arguing. She wouldn’t let up and she kept trying to bring me down. No matter what I tried to say she cut right up in front of me and tried to make me look like a fool. So I left her, I left her to stand in an empty apartment.

 

Athena

 

I told her that I am as open as the world is. I wont lie about who I am. I just got tired of being criticized to my face. I left the building and entered my world.

 

Hephaestus

 

I realized after the longest time that there was nothing I could give her, or tell her that would make her happy. I just love the way she is too much to ever lie to her. I realized after a long time, a good hour, that the only thing I could really give her was some time alone. So I took my sweatshirt and headed down the street.

 

Love

 

I can’t be around her as beautiful as she is when she says such awful things. I leave her and know it doesn’t help, but I can see where it would head if I stay. And I’m not ready to make it official yet. I leave her knowing that I might still come back.

 

Ares

 

She knows how to hurt me and I know how to hurt her. Its what makes us right for each other, but it also pisses me off more than it should. I know that the longer I’m gone the more she’ll worry. She’ll worry because eventually she’ll know where I’m going.

 

Love

 

Then away from my girlfriend for a few minutes, away from the hair and the body I am free to feel myself. I ask myself what I want or what I saw in her. Somehow for the first time since we met I know that none of the answers point back to her. Yeah I loved her. I enjoyed being around her. I enjoyed sleeping with her. But at the end of the road I think that I liked the way she looked a hell of a lot more than who she was. I liked being blinded by her, being consumed by her. Truth is that I still can’t think about her without falling to my knees, gasping for breath and caressing her in my mind. But I don’t want to be with her now. I don’t spend every day anymore hoping that she stays with me just another moment. She is no longer my world, and that kind of makes me feel depressed and sad and without direction for the first time in a long time.

 

Hephaestus

 

I crossed two major intersections, and I decide that it’s still not to late to visit Diana. Unlike my girlfriend, who can make the sun dance with her hair, Diana is a lot more like me.

 

Ares

 

I am going to see Dianna. It takes no effort to be with Dianna. She’s the ultimate nice person and its so freaking simple to have my way with her. I can make her laugh with the stupidest joke, I can make her smile with a line I pull out of nowhere and yeah, I can make her want me by just looking into her eyes. It’s a talent that I happen to be extremely proud of. And I have no interest in using Dianna, making Dianna do anything she wouldn’t want to do. But the truth is, I’ve always known what she’s wanted to do with me. I’m walking to her now, and I’m gonna get off that subway, march up to her apartment and give her what she’s always wanted. I didn’t want this, but I deserve to be happy tonight, to be happy with who I am and not who my girlfriend wants me to be. I’ll march right to her door and give her the chance she’s been begging for.

 

Athena

 

I need proof that I’m right. I spend time thinking about how to show myself my own world. I realize that there is no one I would rather see than Dianna. She has been my friend since I moved to this billboard that calls itself a town we still talk about the better, simpler things. It’s been hard ever since I realized that she liked me. Not just liked me but liked me in the most intimate way you can like someone.

 

Hephaestus

 

And whenever I talk with her she smiles. It’s amazing to see someone who is always smiling. It makes talking, and joking and just being around people so much easier when people just smile at you. It lets you know that they want you to talk. It lets me know that I can try to make them happy.

 

Athena

 

But I know what might happen. I know what I might allow to happen. I mean that’s how the world works right? That’s what people do, they find out what people feel and then they exploit it. I don’t want people to go around cheating on the people they love. I don’t want to cheat on the people I love. I still need to go to Dianna. I need to hear her voice and know that she is in the world. I need to know that someone else understands who I am. I need to give into who I really am. I need to know that I am right.

 

Hephaestus

 

But after tonight, after realizing all the things that I can’t do, I just need to be with someone who will look at me and smile. I just need to look at someone and know that they want me to just be me.

 

Love

 

I can’t think because all I think about is how stupid I feel in this stupid sweatshirt and having this stupid tantrum. I choose not to think. I choose, as awful as the saying goes, to follow my heart and just act on how I feel. I feel like seeing Dianna. Dianna is my friend, not my lover. Dianna is not the girl a guy would fall asleep and dream about, though as I feel her face I can only see a nice, passionate and beautiful face. She is the best friend I could have and she always knows, instinctively what I like. What I want. I realize that beyond my girlfriend’s glamour and seductive feel, she has nothing that makes me move as much as one smile from Dianna. Yeah you don’t dream about someone like Dianna, but once you wake up you realize that she has always been there. I want her to be there.

 

I want to go and just talk with her, let whatever happens happen. I walk to the subway, hoping my subway pass is in my pocket, hoping just to see her face. I don’t necessarily want to sleep with Dianna. Even though I know that she likes me I don’t want to break my other commitments. If it happens though, if I give into my passion, if I see her and realize that I can’t hold back my desire, then I am fine with that.

 

Hephaestus

 

I need to take the subway. I need to go to Downsview and then cross to Sheppard. It’s not as hard as it would seem. I’ve got a pass.

 

Ares

 

The Subway at night is empty. Nearly empty. I could afford a car, but living downtown isn’t the best place for a car. Knowing the people who live down here, it’d get keyed within the first two days. The pass gets me inside and I march through without paying a dime.

 

Hephaestus

 

In the station I only see a few people. I only really look at one.

 

Athena

 

It’s strange what happens after you see someone less fortunate than yourself. In the downsview station I see him. I know I should see a homeless man. I know that I should see everything that I have been talking about. I mean here is a man who society has thrown away and shown how it forgets about the person. I see what I’ve been saying.

 

Hephaestus

 

He’s lying on the floor, he’s got a wool coat that’s been beaten around the edges, pockets off. That’s just no way for a person to dress in this kind of weather; it’s not a safe way to live. I see him clinging to a book, probably from a motel room or if he got lucky a hotel room. He clings to it as if it was a shield against everything else that can go wrong living the way he does. I have a pass; I don’t need the twoonies in my pocket. I put it in his hat, I hope he has enough tonight so that he can get something good to eat. It might not save him, but it’ll make him feel a lot better than whatever he’s feeling today.

 

Ares

 

And I stop for a moment and realize that I am standing right on top of a homeless person. He gives me this look with fear in both of his eyes, and his hand is holding out his hat just enough to get his point across. Most people ignore the homeless, and they’ll say that the homeless are just going to use the money on drugs or booze. Sometimes I give and some times I don’t, it’s really more about the mood I’m in. The vender is closed, so I can’t get a drink, and I figure its just four dollars dangling in my pocket. So what, worst comes to worst he spends the money on booze or drugs. I mean its not my choice or responsibility what he does. He’s holding a bible, for all I know he’s using it for sympathy. But why should I care what this man uses four dollars for? I just gave him the coins and he’ll never have me to give money for him again. I keep walking, I don’t even know if he thanked me.

 

Love

 

I see a man in the subway station holding a worn out bible begging for change. All I really see is that he’s alone. I give him some change, which I know wont help him much, but I think that he needs to know that he’s not alone. He needs to know that there are worthwhile people in the world, people that will do their best to make others happy. After all, everyone deserves to be happy right? Doesn’t everyone deserve to be around the people that make them happy?

 

Athena

 

I try to see him and worry about his health, his stomach, his smell. But all I can see is his bible. All I can see is that no matter what this man has lost, what this man lacks, he holds something that most people no longer have. He holds onto his faith. I mean, with all his troubles and dangers, he still holds onto that? Its not like he could sell it, it’s pages are to small to use as insolence and too small to sleep on. He keeps it simply because he wants to: because it means something to him.

 

How can he find meaning? Honestly, how in a world where he is lying in a subway station begging for pennies can this man really believe in something like the bible? The bible means believing in God on some level, how can a man find God in a world where no one cares for him? How can someone believe in God when they have nothing? I mean I have more than I admit to, and I can almost never find God. I can’t even find simple goodness in the world. I would never be able to strip myself of everything and simply let myself believe that the world is a better place. I can’t just believe there’s God, that there’s goodness in the world. I mean, is that what she meant? Is it that I can’t see God, see the good in the world like this man can? Was she in her own way telling me to look for the good in the world? Am I supposed to strip myself of all worldly possessions and simply believe in something because there would be nothing holding me back?

 

What is holding me back? Why can’t I be at peace with the world? So the world is repellent, couldn’t I just try harder? Am I so important that I can’t just try a little bit more to understand the world I live in? It’s amazing how open the world could be. I can’t shut the world out, I have to try harder and find the good around me. I can’t feel taller than this man. I know on some level he is satisfied, he is at peace. This man found God and is showing me a world that I haven’t found yet, and its world that I might want to live in. I drop some coins into the hat of the man in front of me, hoping that maybe by doing so he will tell me where to find God. Maybe he will tell me where to go from here. He doesn’t say anything, so I just keep going down the subway. I keep going to visit Dianna.

 

Ares

 

I walk by thinking about the fight, and thinking about the choices I’ve made: The choices that I’m happy about making. I walk and I see beauty ads, book ads, and insurance ads.

 

Hephaestus

 

As I walk, I try not to think about what I’ll say or do when I see Dianna. I don’t think she’ll like that as much as me just coming in and being myself. Instead I look to the ads. Most of them are beauty stuff. Its like the walls are trying to insult you as you walk by; a lot of cloths, a lot of skin cleansers, and loads of hair stuff. I’d bet none of them can make hair look like the sun’s raining down.

 

Love

 

I walk down, I see my girlfriend through the beauty products. She surrounds herself with this crap every day, she baths in oils and makeup and hair products that almost cover her body. It makes me wonder what Dianna would look like if she used all that nonsense. I see Dianna in the book advertisements that I pass. She’s not huge on reading, but she loves to learn new things, and to try experiencing different feelings. She captures my attention, forcing me to distract myself and look at the lame insurance ads, to compare which politician looks better in their chosen pose. Dianna makes me want to think, she makes me think about everything around me.

 

Ares

I’m fine without the stuff in the ads. I read enough, I’m covered and, as stuck up as it sounds I do just fine without any face creams or hair gunk. You don’t need to believe me, just look at my girlfriend, look at Dianna.

 

Athena

 

As I walk I see the billboards. It’s a huge barrage of hair products, social security, and books that only mean to sell books. Normally I try to grunt as I walk by because it makes me feel better than them. This time I try to find something. Maybe there’s something useful about these. I mean I’m for being enlightened, aren’t ads just ways of letting people know what’s out there. No matter what I want, this is the world. It won’t change by me ignoring it or laughing at it. Even the politicians seem to actually stand for something now. I look at them now and actually see something. I don’t like politics, but I can see them having worth this time. I actually see people having a use other than sneering at them. I really forget why I’m going to see Dianna.

 

Hephaestus

 

There’s some healthcare, bank stuff, I mean I’d complain, I really would because they’re all annoying, trying to tell you what to be and how to live. Then I think of the man I just gave four dollars to. Some new books are out, I’m less of a reader than my girlfriend, but I’ll tell her about them tomorrow, I think she’ll like that. There’s something about the election, but none of these guys can help me open up to the world any more than I can. They can’t do anything I can’t do myself.

 

Ares

 

I see ads for the next election, I’m not into politics, but I’m still gonna vote. I’m not sure what these candidates offer besides promising not to nuke the country, but one of them will get my vote. The one who tells me how they’re the best is gonna get my vote. I don’t want lower taxes and I don’t want better health care. I want a leader whose gonna make me give a damn. I want the one whose gonna be a winner. I don’t pretend to be all that smart or nice, I just want the best, and people who don’t admit to that are just lying to themselves. Everyone wants the best.

 

Love

 

As I finally give in, as I think about Dianna in my mind, a mugging happens right in front of me. It blinds me.

 

Hephaestus

 

I guess seeing that man getting mugged makes me upset. Even more than that, it made me upset about things I didn’t realize I would get upset about. I mean who knows how long that man worked for the things he’s about to loose.

 

Athena

 

Can I act? I see a man being mugged, and its clear that he needs help. Its almost like I see the world in front of me. I see my old world, a man caring only for himself and hurting others in the process, then I see the world I would like to live in, a world that I can help save. A world where there is a God and God definitely gives a damn about good people.

 

Love

 

Why doesn’t the mugger care about this man’s family? Does he have a wife, children, siblings who he’s responsible for? I tell myself that if I wasn’t here, something terrible could happen.

 

Hephaestus

 

For all I know that mugger is just like the man with the bible, for all I know the mugger needed those four dollars a lot more than the other guy. I know that the mugger isn’t going down without a fight and he’s probably a lot stronger than I think he is.

 

Ares

 

I walk onto my track, and I am drawn to the scene, I am drawn into the world unfolding around me as only I can see it. I see three things unfolding. I see a man on the stone ground, flailing as though he’s in pain. I see a man standing on top of him, grasping at the others shirt and ravaging him, looking for something to take. I then see the choice that I must make. I see both telling me what I can do. The man, or the mugger having his way with his victim wants me to turn around, walk away and forget the violence. The other man wants me to endanger myself, and enter the violence so that he might get up. There is no third option except jumping onto the tracks. I can either walk the way I came from or walk forward into the violence. There’s no law here, there’s no authority, there is only me and the choice to leave or stay. A man is being beaten; there is no finding a greater good here. There is no looking for the most optimistic outlook or learning peoples perspectives. There is only violence, there is only the choice to do what you feel is right and put everything into your action. It isn’t ethics. The most ethical person won’t win. There is nothing I can do accept become violent, or choose not to become more violent.

 

Knowing this I step towards my decision. I ask myself what a winner would do. I ask myself what anyone would do to be the best. I know that the best would step backwards. I owe nothing to anyone over my own safety, my own sanity. People are entitled to value themselves more than anyone else. I know without doubt within those moments that a winner would run. Who would see? Who would care? I would live on and be better if I were gone. But in spite of all this my feet are moving forward. I feel myself moving towards violence and danger.

 

Love

 

I jump out to save this man and save him from his pain. I come out of nowhere and break the muggers concentration.

 

Hephaestus

 

But I feel my legs moving down the hallway. I feel myself doing something. I try not to think about the man I jump on top of, I focus on the man I’m saving. I try to tell myself that if I was being robed, if I was being humiliated and disgraced, this man would save me too.

 

Athena

 

I’m not ready to choose what world I belong in, if there is a God or not, but it won’t matter. My feet have chosen for me. I go to save someone from danger. I go to show that there is some good in this world. I go to find God because I doubt that he’s there.

 

Ares

 

There is no real time to ask myself why. If there was I would ask myself why I walk towards violence. I would ask myself why I want to fight a dangerous man when I could walk away and have a beautiful woman like Dianna tonight. There is no victim in my mind. There is no helpless father I am about to save. There is barely a mugger anymore. There is only my choice to prove that I am greater than myself. Even though I know that I could have left I chose to stay, and that I chose to face a danger that I don’t have to face. I want to be stronger than myself, greater and more determined than what I am. I don’t run not because its better to stay, but I stay because I want to. I want to be here and risk what I am. I would ask myself if I’m naturally violent, if I’m just trying to embrace and find a part of myself that I would have never known before. There’s a part of myself that scares me, and lets me become high off of that fear. In truth I don’t know why I want to feel danger or who I am as I make the wrong choice. As I move I am every hero that I have ever looked up to and I feel as though I want to fail every one of them. All I know is that I chose the violence and I would never have made a different choice, because I want this to happen more than I want to be the best. But my gut, my entirety cannot deny what’s happening.

 

Athena

 

I free the man and he escapes into the light.

 

Ares

 

I punch and throw the mugger onto the ground, and it feels great inside.

 

Hephaestus

 

Landing on the mugger gave the other man a chance to flee. It gave him a chance to get out of the way.

 

Love

 

Freeing the man I realize the danger that I put myself in by not thinking things through.

 

Athena

 

I weigh the consequences and realize that there is nothing left for me to prove. I escape the mugger; well more appropriately, I escape him and his knife. I cannot wait to go home, to bring proof of my involvement in the real world.

 

Ares

 

What proceeds is an assortment of events that the pain cannot contain. I remember that the victim got away after I saved him.

 

Love

 

I realize that it is my loved ones who I need to worry about, because the man has a knife and looks about ready to stab my heart.

 

Athena

 

She’ll hold me in her arms and say that I am right with the world. I run up to the light, that looks so much like her radiant hair.

 

Hephaestus

 

I’m thinking about how Dianna will love this story when I see her.

 

Ares

 

I remember that a knifeman confronted me and I was thrown around. I think that I ran, I can’t really remember why or what happened.

 

Love

 

I run, thinking about the light ahead of me. I think about other ways that I can reach Dianna tonight. Thinking about how I might need to go back home, explaining why I was in the subway in the first place. Someplace in between the two thoughts I am captured.

 

Ares

 

Besides the pain I can’t remember what I chose to do. All I know is that now I am being beaten where the other man once was.

 

Hephaestus

 

Then I have to let go of Diana, I have to let go of that smile, because the mugger has become a knifeman. I realize that the station is empty. Even the man with the bible seems to be gone. I know that my life is worth more than I ever gave it credit for, and all I can think of is that I don’t want to die.

 

I run down into the subway station. I move as fast as my tired legs can move. It hits me as I see the tunnel. It hits me like a million flies running through my body.

 

Athena

 

I almost reach the light, but my legs that brought me such danger give out, they fail to outrun my adversary.

 

Ares

 

I almost hear my own words in my head. I hear myself laughing, telling myself that I wanted violence, and here it is. I found it. How could I have known?

 

Hephaestus

 

It hits me that I can’t escape whatever is about to happen.

 

Athena

 

I am brought from the light into the dark lifeless subway.

 

Love

 

I won’t be able to see either of them again. The subway station is disgusting and I want to see the sky.

 

Hephaestus

 

The mugger is faster than me. I am not going to outrun him with these legs. He pulls me away from the light I have been trying to reach.

 

Love

 

The man beats me, and with each blow I try to remember how I got here, realizing that it is getting more and more difficult.

 

Ares

 

How could I have known how strong the mugger would be?

 

Hephaestus

 

All I feel are his fists. They’re dirty and course. I can’t tell who this man is. I have no clue what this man wants. He hides himself with his silence. He gives me no chance to reason with him. He gives me no chance to give him what he’s looking for.

 

Love

 

Am I here because I was running away from my girlfriend, was it because I was running to someone else?

 

Ares

 

 I can’t think above the cracks to my face. I see in his silent face that I am going to die.

 

Athena

 

I take punishment from this tormented mans fists, and instead of being scared or enraged I simply think of myself as that man with the bible.

 

Love

 

I find pain, I find myself more alone than that lonely man who has vanished, because at least he had God with him.

 

Athena

 

Is this what happens to everyone who tries to find goodness in the world? Do all noble men and women eventually fall to the lowest gutter for trying to make the world better?

 

Hephaestus

 

He must know that I am just a regular man with nothing more to offer than what will be in my broken body. He gives me nothing. He only gives me in his silence the only truth that I can find.

 

Ares

 

To be honest, I’m pretty sure a part of me is already dead.

 

Love

 

My blood comes from my mouth, spilling onto my jacket. I feel myself becoming ugly.

 

Athena

 

More so, am I one of them? Without his voice to break my thinking, I ask myself if I really did find the world. Did I do enough?

 

Hephaestus

 

He is going to pummel me, cut me and then rob me. He will look at my girlfriend, a picture in my wallet with her and me, and he will know that I died without giving her one last chance to know I loved her.

 

Athena

 

Did I only fight myself when there are demons to fight?

 

Love

 

I tell myself that I am still beautiful, that my life is worth more than the pain I feel.

 

Athena

 

I tell myself that I can do more, that I want to do more.

 

Ares

 

I tell myself to become angry. I tell myself that my anger is justified, and anyone would react the same way.

 

Love

 

I tell myself that Dianna will still embrace me. That she will heal me and save me.

 

Hephaestus

 

Through the pain I try to tell myself that I have lived a life worth living. I try even harder because I have stopped believing it. In the fear, in the emptiness, I hit the back of his knee.

 

Love

 

I strike at the man’s knee and he falls for a moment. I see him rise again though. I see his rage overpowering me, forcing me into the subway tracks. I fall, I fall and I don’t think that Dianna could heal me anymore.

 

Athena

 

I want to live in a world without demons. I take out my assailant’s legs to fight one last evil. I have no time to know if it made a difference. I am pushed onto the tracks of an oncoming train.

 

Ares

 

I act in defiance, bring the man to his knees, but in the process I fall into the tracks. I hear the joke in my head continue saying that I chose this. I can’t really remember why that’s funny.

 

Hephaestus

 

I bring him down for a moment. We are in the hard stone floor watching the world step on us.

 

Athena

 

I am stunned. There is actually a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Ares

 

I see a train coming right at me, and I’m sure that it wont stop in time. In the pain and anticipation I wish that I were back home.

 

Athena

 

I don’t want to die, who does? I want to go back home now, I want to see my girl, see her long yellow hair and let her know who I am. Let her know that I will live in her world.

 

Hephaestus

 

Down into the track I try to be happy. I try to see her move her hair one last time. I try to make her bounce one last time. But I’ll never get that chance. I can only hope that the man I gave money to was a priest, that he held his book out to me so that I could give one last prayer to the people that could remember me. I only hope that four dollars is enough to be remembered, because the light coming down isn’t going to give me another chance.

 

Love

 

I know that the last moment has come. I am blinded by the oncoming train’s light that shines into my failing eyes.

 

Athena

 

I’ll do whatever she needs, whatever she wants just to show her the man that she has fallen in love with. I know that it isn’t going to happen though.

 

Ares

 

I wish I could tell my girlfriend how hard I fought, about what I almost did. I don’t know what she’d think about it all. I honestly could never understand her that well.

 

Love

 

I realize that I have always been blinded by something, but I just kept switching the light source.

 

Ares

 

I think a lot of people don’t know who I really am. I hope they’ll remember the good. I hope that I earned that at least.

 

Athena

 

I am beaten. I let the fear take me. I let myself fear what is coming.

 

Hephaestus

 

Did I not do everything to make her happy? Did I not make her smile? Did I not give four dollars to a complete stranger? Was I really so unworthy of living in the world? Was it so important to be someone I wasn’t, to force myself into the world?

 

Ares

 

The pain of life ending enters me. Till the end I keep my mind open and I try to see. In the pain I can’t see what’s happening.

 

Hephaestus

 

I have nothing left to give but my own imperfect body to the oncoming light.

 

Athena

 

But in the end I realize that something is coming. Something is about to happen.

 

Love

 

I see her smile one last time, letting me be who I am. I followed her until the end.

 

Ares

 

I see two silver coins, though I’m not sure why I would.

 

Athena

 

I see the most beautiful yellow hair, brighter than the sun before me.

 

Hephaestus

 

I see myself inside the light. It’s not a shadow, it’s not a reflection. I see me.

Original Proposal

Hey there you,

Here was my original proposal for this project. You'll see how it came to its complete format as components developed and I was exposed to different art forms. The story kept the format and topics that I wanted to explore, but the visual component evolved into found art rather than canvased paintings due to the reality of cost and time/space available to me. Enjoy:

 

Goal: The goal of this project is to create a piece, both in a painted form and scripted dialogue that creates a non-linear narration and the circumstance of the narration will be created not by the events per say, but rather by the emotional drive attached to each action. Through the coarse of the narration while the image is being observed, the narrator will never change, however the emotional drive that the character embodies will change and show different perspectives. To bring the story into the emotional context, the emotional aspects of the character will fall under the four Greek gods that embody those feelings. Hephaestus (god of giving), Aphrodite (god of love), Ares (god of war) and Athena (god of wisdom) will each give different perspective to a persons actions as well as their own climax to the narrative.  The narration will be a simple story that touches on different aspects of human morality and the rational behind the choices a person decides to live and even die by.

 

The image will be created to give different focal points for the viewer, letting them try to determine for themselves which pieces correspond to what parts of the story and which emotion the story is taking. Each segment will have its own style and encompass contrasting themes that make the viewer question what they hear so that they themselves question how they would react to different segments to the narrative. The piece will hopefully be oils painted onto wood to give the viewer a feeling that a story, even one that takes place in an urban setting is connected to nature and higher ideals than the narrative suggests.

 

Once completed and preformed, the piece should give off the feeling that life, both the greatness and the pain is ruled by peoples emotional drives. It should force the viewer to question whether choices that they make are driven by their desire to give or their desire to unleash themselves, whether people’s actions are driven by logic and wisdom, or by mystery and love. These are the questions that people need to ask themselves so that they can be true to their own values. In truth a person must really ask, when seen how it is often our drives and our desires that define our lives and if there is really any true moral value within all people.

 

The Story:

 

A man walks out off in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep. He had a fight with his girlfriend who thinks that he never opens himself up to the world. Walking along, he decides to visit a girl that he knows has feelings for him. He will not admit that he wants to sleep with this girl (just wants to be around someone who understands him, wants to scare his girlfriend). On the subway he sees a homeless man with nothing but raged cloths and a bible in his hand and gives him four dollars. Waiting for the subway he see’s the ads (beauty products, healthcare, books, political poster). He sees a man being mugged and beaten and runs to help him. After the man is able to run away the mugger pulls out a knife and begins running towards the man. He runs back into the street but the mugger catches him before he can reach the exit. The mugger brings him back into the subway and begins to beat the man; the mugger says nothing. Eventually he is able to bring the mugger to his knees before the mugger pushes the man into the subway track. The oncoming train comes and as the light hits the man’s face, he sees something (the girl, himself, the hair of his girlfriend, four dollars), and the story is over